What became of everyone I used to know? [entries|friends|calendar] I'm a cult classic. [ website | myspace. ] [ userinfo | livejournal userinfo ] [ calendar | livejournal calendar ]

And it makes no difference what you believe if you don't stand up and make a difference. [12 Feb 2008|01:24am] I still can't get over the fact that, when I really don't know where to turn to, I get myself on line and come here and rant and rave about this doldrum-like, droning life of potential success I seem to make myself live in. It's atrocious, really. Yet I really can't find comfort in much else. Granted, I'm not finding comfort on the internet, but rather in my own head. Don't get me wrong, I'm more than happy with my life, proud of what I've done and where I'm at, proud of my friends and their accomplishments, and completely in love with the life I've been given.I think it's just funny because sometimes I think I just use this as some sort of group therapy without leaving my house. By that I mean I tend to only resort to Livejournal for one of two reason: 1. I'm bored and ridiculousness is relieving. 2. I'm truly, desperately lost, upset, or disheveled. Fortunately, both instances have become few and far between as of late. But when they did/do occur, I consistently find myself here pleading with whoever for some sort of optimism or comforting words of good-heartedness. Unfortunately, every time either of the aforementioned situations have occurred have been documented on this. I can look back at my life three years ago and realize what a moron I've been. How dramatic I was. How invested I was in such petty, meaningless endeavors that, at the time, meant just a tiny bit less than the world. Whats worse, though, is that all of you people have that same opportunity to jump back in my life and laugh at my idiocy. Mind you, most of you guys are my good friends, acquaintances, or at the extreme least, we've known each other through Livejournal for a number of years, and you're having that potential for reliving my past doesn't bother me at all. However, I'm done with it. I'm a bit tired of feeling the need to come here and whine and cry every time things don't go my way or something in my life drastically change. I mean, a lot of you will know anyways, so there's no need in hearing about it twice. Similarly, I've realized that if something is bothering me enough to the degree that I MUST write it down, then, chances are, it probably isn't for public eyes. I think this has gotten me into trouble a lot in the past. Again, I'm done with it. I'm going to keep something similar to this elsewhere. It will have no URL, no friends, no pens or paper, or first pages that threaten your life if you read it. It's my place. I'm the only person who will find it, read it, relive it, aggrandize it, and watch my growth, or decline depending on where my life goes. The only thing that has ever been consistent about Livejournal for me, aside from it's ceaseless pseudo-companionship, is it's amazing ability to coax me into divulging and purging every last thought in my head at the very instant I start typing. As much as I hate Livejournal for that, I couldn't thank it enough. In a nutshell, fuck you, Livejournal... you were a good friend. 1 black eye  and two broken jaws

[02 Feb 2008|03:19am] Contrary to my last post, I am not happy at the moment. I'm going home. I miss everyone. 1 black eye  and two broken jaws

[21 Jan 2008|03:33pm] HEY GUESS WHAT IM FUCKING HAPPY. 5 black eyes  and two broken jaws

On the single road, keep your life the same. [27 Nov 2007|05:02am] [ mood | content ] [ music | Elliott. (never fails) ] 22 weeks. It has been twenty-two weeks since I've even looked at Livejournal. Oh, how things have changed since. I guess I'm finally doing things with myself, to some degree. It really is a great feeling. Granted, there's a lot more I'd like to be doing, but some things are just out of my hands. One of which being a job, I've applied everywhere, but to no avail. I guess that's the worst thing I've got going right now. I need a job and I need to keep my schoolwork a priority. I tend to forget the importance of it, but that's not new. Anyways, I live in Lowell now. I don't simply go to school there. I live there now, and I still haven't gotten 100% used to that idea. Sometimes its almost a burden to come home to Merrimac. Nothing I own is here. Nothing is here for me but friends and the good times we had that are too far gone to me now. I hate being nostalgic on here because it seems so insincere. By the way, I reread a lot of what I had written over the past few years, and I wish I knew then what I know now about myself and how to convey my opinions and thoughts. I came across as a complete fool most of the time. That's niether here nor there at this point though. It's all been done. Dare I say, "So it goes." I guess the real reason I'm writing in this is to escape a paper I need to write before 2 o'clock in the coming afternoon. Aside from that, though, this is more for me to just think. I don't know if anyone else uses Livejournal for the same thing intentionally, but I think we all do it in the backs of our minds. We use it as a way to clear our heads. We don't write everything we want to write or think to write. It really is a great way to just relax. Since I've moved to Lowell, I've actually started to keep a real journal of things that I think will matter most to me later on. I try not to stress important, momentous happenings though. I take note of the little, more scrutinizable details around or involved with the happenings. I guess it will almost be a memory test later on, but it's interesting. My own thought experiment on myself. I recommend it to the lot of you. I don't know. I guess this is really not in my best interest, so I'm going to get going on this paper now. I probably won't be back here for a long time, and I won't read this until weeks from now. So I hope it wasn't too disjointed. I hope everyone's doing well. I am, if you were wondering at all. I'll see some of you around. Chris 1 black eye  and two broken jaws

Tough break, kid. [24 Jun 2007|01:20pm] [ mood | Dope ] [ music | Sigur Ros. ] Things are great. Really. I'm moving to Lowell in August and making something of myself. Don't know what that will be yet, but it's going to be fun. I don't use this when life is good, and I think thats funny. My birthday is in a month. Gnar. I hate this again. Oh, and you should all read The Human Stain by Philip Roth. For your own good. Bye. 3 black eyes  and two broken jaws

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